A New Year, The Same Old Start

Every year, I promise myself that this year, this year is going to be so much better than the last. That I'll find a way to be happier, and be able to deal with all the nonsense that life throws at me. But every year, year after year, it gets worse or stays the same in spite of me. It's not for lack of trying. I know the idea: if you want change, you have to start it. I try. I do. But every year....

This year doesn't look any better. It's 2 am on the 10th, and in the past few days, I have been trying, but keep spiraling. And there's not an end in sight. Between stressors of daily life, changing life, and just life in general, I'm spent.

I know, I know. Change the causes, right? Avoid them.
Well. Problem. Can't. 90% of the time, there isn't a cause. and like 9% of the rest, it's not something I can avoid.
Can't change what isn't there, right?

Go see a doctor! They can help!
Erm. No. I can't afford a doctor's visit right now, even with insurance. Plus, it would be going to a specialist, which cost more.
The medicine that I had before doesn't help, barely did, and it took them years to find it anyways.

So what does that leave me?
Wallowing through another miserable year? And another one after that? And on and on?

I don't think I can handle that. Really. I don't.

I just don't know what to do about it anymore......

2015

Welcome to those of you from the past, to a glimpse of the future! I have to say, these hoverboards are fricking AMAZING!

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!