I have decided I am going to give this blogging thing another chance. Yes, I know, I know. I have been so completely horrible at keeping up at with it in the past, so why should I bother? Heck, I've never even been good with keeping up with a written journal, unless it was an assignment at school. Then I wrote in it religiously. Until it was time to turn it in. My lost blog went months, minimum, between posts, simply because I didn't have the drive to get up and write something. So why am I doing this?
When you figure out the answer to that one, let me know. I'm still trying to figure it out myself.
In all seriousness though, keeping up with a blog, some place that people can come and learn about some parts of my life (if they so choose), has been something I've wanted to do for a long time. And I'm hoping, just hoping, that maybe I'll actually have the stamina to get this going and make it a habit.
Maybe.
Going to give it a shot anyways.
So. Introductions. Those are always the standard, right? My least favorite post in the world to write, and it's one you will almost always find one some level in blogs like these. So let's make it quick one, shall we?
My name is a fairly private thing. We will see if, at a later time, I divulge the whole thing. For now, you may call me May. That is my online handle. I'm in my late twenties, perpetually single (he's out there somewhere. I just have to find him!), live in the US of A, and work two jobs to try to make ends meet. I am an aspiring novelist and teacher working as a substitute and a weekend night auditor at a hotel. Though, of course, with summer coming, I am officially at the hotel full time while hunting a teaching position. Wish lucks? Haha.
If you saw my first official post, you'll know too that I suffer from severe depression. I'm working through it, and am hoping that writing here, maybe sharing some of my experiences and feelings will help me to cope and work through the troubles.
Some of the posts here will be sad. You have been warned.
Others will happy.
Others still might be previews into my writings, or character introductions.
My goal? Is to just get something going. I want to write. And doing something each day will help me realize that goal, even if I do just end up getting stuck here again. I'm okay with that for now. Anything is a start.
Other things about me you'll probably figure out through the course of this blog. Most likely. You'll probably learn my favorite colour, for example, when I start squeeling over this really cute shirt that I saw or something. Lol! You'll get to find out which book I'm currently reading or just finished reading because I'll gush over it (Spoilers beware potentially!) You'll learn about my besties. You'll learn about my heart, my downfalls, my triumphs. You'll learn that I'm not perfect, not by a long shot, and you'll hopefully see that I am trying to be okay with that.
You'll learn that in spite of my best efforts, I probably won't keep up with this longer than a couple days at best. XD Lol!
Thank you for joining me. : )
Friday, June 6, 2014
That Gentle Nudge
One of the biggest themes floating around the internet at the last few days are pictures, laced with quotes, all about believing in yourself. In holding your head high and trusting in you. Reminding you that, though things are rough, and though there are other out there intent on bringing you down and making you fall, that you are worth it. That you alone are worth it. These quotes, these pictures have always been there, I’m sure, but only recently, it seems, they have fought their way to the surface to inspire those who are in desperate need for some reassurance.
To be entirely honest, here on the internet in a sea of strangers and friends alike, I admit to it. I need those reminders at the moment. I need those uplifting quotes and pictures reminding me that I am special, that I am worth it, because honestly? I don’t feel it. And I haven’t in a long time.
I’ve felt lost and alone for quite some time, and it doesn’t help when things start looking brighter that I get swept kicked off my feet and shoved head first into another pit I hadn’t noticed before. But… It’s just the nature of my life, or so it seems. A huge part of me is resigned to the fact that I’ll probably never feel like I’m worth something, like I’m supposed to be here. Like there’s something in this life I’m meant to do.
But then, last night, scrolling through the book of face, I came across those little nudgings. And… though I am still far from being happy, from accepting myself, I do feel a little encouraged. Maybe it’s not all that bad. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll figure something out, and be able to climb out of this pit. Eventually. It’s hard, yes. But, then again, anything worth doing is.
Isn’t it?
To be entirely honest, here on the internet in a sea of strangers and friends alike, I admit to it. I need those reminders at the moment. I need those uplifting quotes and pictures reminding me that I am special, that I am worth it, because honestly? I don’t feel it. And I haven’t in a long time.
I’ve felt lost and alone for quite some time, and it doesn’t help when things start looking brighter that I get swept kicked off my feet and shoved head first into another pit I hadn’t noticed before. But… It’s just the nature of my life, or so it seems. A huge part of me is resigned to the fact that I’ll probably never feel like I’m worth something, like I’m supposed to be here. Like there’s something in this life I’m meant to do.
But then, last night, scrolling through the book of face, I came across those little nudgings. And… though I am still far from being happy, from accepting myself, I do feel a little encouraged. Maybe it’s not all that bad. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll figure something out, and be able to climb out of this pit. Eventually. It’s hard, yes. But, then again, anything worth doing is.
Isn’t it?
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